January 17, 2005

"Death isn't always expected... but we are expected to accept it...

When it's my time, I want to leave knowing I did what I was meant to do...

No one's life is meaningless... everyone is here for a purpose.

If you've yet to figure out your purpose...

Don't worry

We don't really find out until we're gone."

April 5, 2005

"You amaze me day by day
With all your fake smiles and lies.


I see your heart, broken and dangling
Right alongside my hope for your awakening.
And I just thought you should know...
That you're not hiding anything--
I see right through you.


When will you understand that love is real?
When will it finally seep through?
I need these tears, sorrow, and pain to disappear...
But I don't have a clue.


With the stars surrounding us,
And the moon up high...
I want you to know,
So are my hopes that your tears will dry."

January 19, 2006

I don't write much any more... but I'm glad I have access to my old stuff.



"If we don't survive this

It wasn't meant to be.

There are angels among us

They haven't given up

There are miracles waiting to happen

All we have to do is open our eyes"

August 8, 2006

And... another old journal entry.


"Memories captured,
Hung on a wall
Stars don't truly shine
Until after they fall


With anticipation of great love,
My hopes are high
God must have
Hung the moon tonight


I'm not ready to grow up,
But I'll grow if I must
I don't want these memories
To fade to dust


As our falling hearts turn to stars,
Let us not forget the moon"

September 2, 2006

Another old journal entry

"Building ourselves up
Only to be let down
Knowing that we're breaking
With no trace of a sound

It's hard to hide the pain
But we do it every day
If we ignore it
It might go away

A rain drop falls
Again, we rejoice
An angel just given wings
A mute child, a voice

It's pouring rain
Let's just forget the pain
Knowing that we're broken
And You love us the same

If dancing in the rain is all we've got
Then continue to shower us, Lord"

March 16, 2007

Another old journal entry...

"Defining moments occur at the most unexpected times... but yet, always the right ones. I think perspective has a great deal to do with it. I've learned that I need to cherish every moment I'm with someone... because it really COULD be the last time I see them. One more high five... one more hug... one more smile... one more kiss. The last one better be the best... but what if we forget? Will our very existence be forgotten along with it?

I love those moments when you just know that you're where you're supposed to be. You know the moments... when you're listening to a song, and suddenly tears come to your eyes. Or when you're talking to an old friend who is struggling and every word that comes out of your mouth seems to be perfect.

At times we forget that those who help us often need help themselves. Life is valuable. But until it's nearly taken from us, we don't grasp that value. Each hello and goodbye define who we are.

Putting effort in slowing down and appreciating life defines our fight. And though the fights differ in each person's being, there is one common goal... true happiness."

I found an old journal of mine...

This entry is from June 11, 2007.

Ryan was in New Zealand.

It was the summer before my senior year of high school.

I had been 17 for 11 days.

"With each passing minute, my heart aches a little more.

And with each heartbeat, comes hope. Hope for the pain to stop.

If not now, soon.

It's nearly impossible to describe it... because to fully understand, one has to experience the feeling.

Change is inevitable, but it seems to hurt just as bad even if we have a huge "CAUTION" sign in front of it.

It's crazy how circumstance can change lives... and no matter how badly we want to prevent the change, it still comes plowing through.

Change knows no pain... yet they continually come hand in hand.

Knowing that we can't turn back time really stinks, ya know?

In our deepest beings, we all yearn to be home. Perhaps some of us don't even realize where that home is... but we possess a feeling of emptiness. As for the rest of us, we know exactly who and where our home is... but for some reason we can't get there. Our home has to be far away... too far to reach, at least for the time being.

Having the knowledge of where your home is, and not being able to get there, well, hurts.

With things changing all around us, we need to protect our homes.

As for actually doing so, one must have faith.

Faith that you will be home again.

And prayer that your home won't lose their faith."