Unite and Conquer

is going to be AMAZING!

September 5th, West Texas Boys Ranch... Third Day, Skillet, Pillar, Addison Road, Jaymes Reunion (JUST TO NAME A FEW!)

I am completely STOKED. I bought my ticket last week at the Family Christian Bookstore.

Pretty cool deal, Air1 radio station is actually having a contest for all of its listeners to win a trip to San Angelo (haha, they must not have an idea of how lame this town is) to go to the festival.

the link for more information is:

www.uniteandconquersa.org

you should go check it out!

Sometimes I just feel like crying...

and other times... it just happens... no warning... I'm just driving down the road, and I burst into tears. Am I a chick or what?

Currently, I feel like crying because I charged my bank account 8 dollars last night for a cd off of iTunes, and Ryan pissed me off shortly after so I slammed my lap top shut, and I just realized that doing so messed up the downloads.... I only got three of the 15 or so songs. Ughhh. So frustrating.

Another reason I feel like crying is because of how my parents portray my relationship with Ryan. Well, Ryan blew out a tire on his vehicle on the way over to my house today, so we asked my dad if he could help us change it out. Turns out, the guy who sold Ryan his P.O.S. sports car failed to include a spare tire in the deal. Well, my dad asked if he had a jack (I think that's what it's called) so he could get a closer look at the other side of the wheel or something... and Ryan was like "ugh, I don't think I have one of those either..." and my dad chewed him out. He was like "That's just stupid... you don't go ANYWHERE without a spare tire and a jack"... and he shook his head and walked off.

I think my dad is just frustrated, because he knows that Ryan and I are in a serious relationship and he wants my future provider to be a little more responsible than what Ryan has shown him so far.

And, I can't get mad at Ryan because he's already upset that he blew his tire out... and it's just a mess.

His dad is supposed to call us in the morning after he talks to someone about the tire (which means he'll be staying up pretty late in New Zealand time)... and then I'll have to go pick him up and drive across town before going to work at 1... so overall, it's just inconvenient for everyone.




Okay, this probably breaks some copyright laws, but I have to share the lyrics to a song that made me burst into tears when I heard it.

I was making deliveries for work, while driving down Knickerbocker (pretty busy street, about 7 total lanes of traffic) and this song came on the radio. I honestly don't know why I cried... because really, I don't cry often... but before I could realize what was happening... my cheeks were wet. God just touched my heart.

Here's the song:

(copied directly from air1.com)

Jonny Diaz - More Beautiful You
From the album More Beautiful You


Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body your hair
Are perfect just the way you are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel that you are

Chorus

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forgets
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with his light he will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

Label: INO Records

I'm all caught up in this show...

I've been watching MTV's 16 and Pregnant for the past couple of nights... and some of these girls are wack! Out of the 6 girls they documented, only one gave the baby up for adoption. One of the girls was a junior cheerleader in highschool, and was still wearing a size 2 while she was 5 months pregnant! That's insane! When she actually had the baby, she was like "Oh, I've never held a baby before..." WOW, you would think that since she got knocked up and planned on keeping the baby from the beginning that she would find a cousin or friend's cousin or something to get associated with the idea of motherhood.

I don't know why I watch the show, really... it just pisses me off, lol.

BAHAHA! This chump spent +$500 dollars on a PS3 and then later in the episode, he bought her an "engagement ring" from Wal Mart and he spent a whopping $21 on it.

I can't do anything except shake my head....

summer break...

...is going by too quickly!!! Work has been keeping me busy, and before I know it, it's the weekend. Don't get me wrong, that's great, I love having the weekends off, but I find myself dreadfully looking at the calendar and I see fall semester quickly approaching.

I went with Kasey this morning to register for her classes, and just being back at school made my stomach hurt. I know I'm going to get my degree, because I'm determined to get a good job... but I've never actually enjoyed going to class. Oh well... 3(ish) more years left...

I believe I'm going to be alone a lot this week, because West Side and Johnson Street are leaving for camp on Sunday, and Julie leaves tomorrow to go visit her friend Kara for a week. Ryan will be here, thankfully... but he is getting a lot of hours at work. This leads me to believe that I will be able to get a lot of scrapbooking done, and I might just start a new book.

Mom is sick, so I think I should start cooking something.

I might write some more tonight....

ta ta for now <3

entertainment

Oh, how I love movies!

I went and saw "My Sister's Keeper" in theaters with Cortnee and her mom Thursday night. I hear the book was really good, but the movie was a bit different. I loved it though.

It's hard to get through to some people however that just because a movie is sad does not mean that it is incapable of being a good movie. Every now and then, I believe it's good to just let loose and cry. You know, it's quite good for one's sanity.

I've been reading the 6th Harry Potter book, because the movie comes out like what, next week, and I like to know what is going to happen before it does. =]

I really do love the series. I know some people (including most people at my church) don't like the idea of it because of the magic and dark arts and what not, but I believe that if one can read it knowing that it's fiction, and can keep a clear distiction between that and reality, then all is well. Oh well, I suppose it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Speaking of tea... I'm craving it. Hot tea with milk and sugar. Yum! The thought of hot tea makes me miss New Zealand... and the Marlars... a lot.

This time last year I was beginning my 2nd of 5 weeks in the beautiful country. I wish I could go back... and soon.

I suppose I'll just have to reminisce with photos and my journal.

By the way... I ordered a scrapbooking kit from the Home Shopping Network last week... it has 10,000 pieces to it! I'm stoked! I'll be able to get all my New Zealand memories into one huge book now! =]

Well, Kasey just got here... I guess I should get back to watching Harry Potter. haha.

<3

splitting headache

I took some "rapid release tylenol"... but I must admit, that I'm super impatient... and its "rapidness" is in slow motion right now.


On the other hand, I had a great weekend. My sister Becky took me to get a pedicure on Friday afternoon. I undoubtedly chose THE brightest orange colored polish. My toes like glow in the dark. =] It's pretty rad.


Friday was dad's birthday. The big 54. The family pitched in for the tv, and mom and I also got him a pair of shorts and a plaid shirt. We had chinese for dinner, and I baked him a brownie cake for dessert. It was pretty tasty.





Ryan got back from his grandparents' house in Brady yesterday afternoon and we went with my parents out to Lake Nasworthy to watch fireworks. We were in a pretty secluded spot so we fortunately didn't have to deal with too many strangers. The show didn't start until 9:30 and we got there a little after 7 so we just walked around and took lots of pictures. The show itself was pretty spectacular. We were impressed. =]












Ryan went to church with me this morning. One of my dearest friends, Cortnee and her family are sending off their eldest, Coleman, to the navy tomorrow morning. His basic training will be in Chicago. The church went up to the front to say our goodbyes after the service. Lots of tears were shed.... I think my mom was crying harder than his though, hahaha.




After church we had a barbecue in the courtyard. Lots of hamburgers and hot dogs.... and water guns. I thankfully avoided the latter.




Ryan went to work at 3, and I took a nice long nap. =]







I surprised him at work this evening with a bag of skittles and a Starbucks frappucino. He was grateful. <3







I am now watching Love Actually for the first time in my life... and am disappointed in the unnecessary nudity. Other than those few awkward scenes, it is a nice film.





<3

my heart has been heavy lately

I must start off by explaining an excellent example of how I have the worst luck, ever.

I decided to check my email tonight, because I haven't in a few days... and turns out I won a drawing for some Colts Baseball tickets for a game next week in some drawing that Ryan and I filled out at the YMCA last week.

I was pretty stoked... because I've never won anything... and then I continued reading... and at the bottom it said "if you do not pick up your tickets by noon on Friday July 3rd (which is todayyy ughhh), then we will give them to somebody else."

Talk about a slap across the face. Whatever though... can't do anything to change it, I suppose.



So, I share an office at work with this wonderful woman named Suzie. She is a widow and a divorcee, 70 years young, probably weighs close to 400 pounds, and wears her platinum blonde hair in a beehive. She has 13 pet cats... yep, 13! A very unique woman to say the least. I told myself months ago that when I write a book someday, she will be a main character in it.

She is very independent, but I've always had a gut feeling that it hadn't always been that way. She's constantly telling people not to get married because her last 2 husbands were awful. She often says "I am twice the loser for being divorced, but my first husband died on me... that one wasn't my fault." Other than statements like that, I didn't really know much about her late husband... until yesterday.

It was around 4pm and I had to take her to the auto body shop to pick up her truck at 4:30pm. She randomly said "You know what Sunday is?" and I suspiciously said "July 5th... the day after Independence Day... why?" and she said "it will be the 47th anniversary of my first husband's death."

Well how in the world could one properly respond to such a statement? I said "Oh, really? How did yall meet?" and she replied with "He was my older brother's best friend growing up.... he used to throw rocks at me when I had my lemonade stands."

I saw a twinkle in her eye as she talked about him. My heart instantly broke for her loss. I then asked "How old were you when you married him?" and she said "Ooh, we were young. I was 18 and he was 20." She then began to pour her heart out.

"He was 24... I was 22," she said. "I think it was the pneumonia that took him.... he had been sick for a while though. You know, the older I get, the more I understand why the doctors didn't explain to me how serious his illness was... they couldn't... I was too young to understand. I was in love."

I saw the twinkle in her eye turn to a tear, but she was too stubborn to let it fall.

She then explained to me that her father had told her years after Jack's death that Jack had told him when he had a year left to live, but he made him promise not to tell Suzie. Her father kept true to his word.

Suzie then told me of how she had this feeling the whole time Jack was sick that everything was going to be okay, and when he died "it wasn't okay"... not for her at least. She wondered why God gave her that sense of "okayness" and He still took him home. Suzie's older brother, Jack's best friend, grew up to be a pastor. He attempted to explain to her that everything was okay for Jack because he was in heaven. She had simply misinterpreted God's answer to her prayer.

Since then, Suzie has been on a quest to follow God's will in her life. She went to bible school with thoughts of perhaps being called to be a pastor's wife... but she didn't fall in love with any soon to be pastors while at school. She later married 2 different men, one of whom was abusive, and the other a slob. Still, she seeks God's will.

She went on to describe how sad it was for a woman who is 70 years of age to have lived her whole life without reassurance from God that she is living in His will. She told me she has prayed non-stop for 47 years... but still has not a clue as to how she should properly be serving the Lord.

I told her that she honestly might not realize that she had been in God's will the whole time until she sees him face to face.

The thought of that moment brought tears to both of our eyes.



The car ride to the auto body shop was filled with silence.

My heart aches for her.